“Leaving, sir?”
Eric glanced up at the sound of Steve Miller’s voice, to see his and Wes’s second in command watching from a few feet down the hall as he closed his office door. Considering Eric was wearing his street clothes instead of his uniform despite the fact that it wasn’t even lunchtime yet, the conclusion seemed obvious. “Yes, I’m taking off,” he said. “I’m... uh...”
“Helping Commander Collins get moved in?”
Eric looked up, only to see a slight smile on his co-worker’s face. Wes and he had agreed not to hide the fact that they were moving in together, but... Dammit, Wes, did you have to actually tell people? Warily searching for any hint of mockery or disdain, he said defiantly, “Well, yeah, as a matter of fact.”
“Very well, sir.” Steve’s face had returned to its usual professional blankness.
“Okay. See ya tomorrow,” Eric said, turning away, suddenly anxious to get out of there.
“Right, sir. Sir?”
Bracing himself, Eric turned back. “What is it?”
“If you and Wes need any help, just let us know.”
“Huh? Oh. Uh. Okay.”
Surprised, puzzled, suspicious, but pleased, Eric watched him about face and walk away.
It’s his home too, now.
It was still a strange thought, exciting but more than a little disturbing. A strange thought, but one that Eric had found himself taking out and turning over in his mind now and then like a shiny new toy in the two weeks since they had gotten back from Newtech City and the shock and grief of Nick’s death had begun to ease. While Wes had spent most of his nights at Eric’s house - at our house - this was the day he was bringing his things and officially taking up residence, a day Eric had looked forward to with both eagerness and a large dose of uneasiness. Now, as his doorbell rang, he decided the uneasiness was winning out.
Still, Eric made sure he was wearing a smile as he opened the door to see Wes standing between two suitcases. “Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning yourself.”
“How’d it go? Got everything?”
“I think so. At least for now.”
“You could just use your own key, you know,” Eric said as he opened the door wider to let Wes carry one of his suitcases inside.
“Yeah, I know. Doesn’t feel right to just walk in yet, I guess. Besides, you can help with the suitcases.”
“Sure,” Eric said. He leaned out to grab the other one, put it down in the entranceway and started to close the door.
“Hey!” Wes exclaimed. “Don’t close it yet. I’ve got more stuff in the car.”
“More?” Eric eyed the two large suitcases.
“Sure. I’m not here on vacation, you know, I’m moving in. There’s another couple suitcases. Hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. This is your home too.”
Wes grinned and brushed a kiss across Eric’s lips before heading back out to the car, where he opened the trunk and pulled out two more suitcases, both just as big as the first set. Eric went to join him and took one of them, manfully resisting the urge to glance around and see if the neighbors were watching.
“Well, that’s it for now,” Wes said as they walked back to the door.
“For now?” Eric asked, with a distinct twinge of dismay.
“Yeah, I’m having the rest shipped. Only three trunks. The rest of my clothes, my books, my CDs and DVDs, my sheets and some blankets and towels - thought we could use them here - some stuff like decorations and stuff... You know. And of course my TV and stereo. We can figure out where to put them.”
“Uh - sure.” Eric firmly dismissed the image of his little house bursting from the strain of Wes’s possessions in addition to his own.
“I hope there’s room.” Wes gave him an apologetic glance.
“No problem. We’ll manage. Half of the place is yours, after all.”
“Thanks!” Wes grinned as Eric closed the front door and they lugged the suitcases into the living room. “I can have my furniture shipped as soon as we decide what we can use.”
“Furniture?” Eric asked weakly, the dismay making a triumphant comeback.
“Well, yeah. Just the stuff in my bedroom. Dresser, night tables. And my bed.”
“Your bed? What’s wrong with my bed?”
“Nothing. Except the mattress is about a hundred years old. There’s this loose spring that always pokes me in the ribs.”
It’s his home too now. Eric planted the thought firmly in his mind, and a smile even more firmly on his face. “Wouldn’t it be easier to just get a new mattress?”
“Sure! Great, we can go shopping tomorrow.” Wes gave him another smile before picking up a suitcase and walking into the bedroom.
Eric repressed another image, this time of the two of them shopping for a mattress together, a horde of salesclerks whispering and laughing behind their backs. “Okay, if you want,” he said, teeth clenched, as he followed.
“We could put my bed in the guest room. I mean - that sleeper sofa is kinda old, right? And it’s small. You - I mean we - could use something better, couldn’t we?”
“I guess.” Eric reminded himself that Wes was right. The furniture in the guest room was all junk he had gotten secondhand, chosen for price rather than quality. Resenting Wes saying it was junk was - just stupid.
“Great!” Wes put the suitcase down and looked around the bedroom with a speculative expression. Eric steeled himself as his partner said, “Maybe we could get some new curtains while we’re at it? If you want to, of course.”
“Why? What’s wrong with my curtains?”
“Well, they’re getting a little faded.”
“They look okay to me.”
Wes gave him an uncertain look, and shrugged after a moment. “Okay, no problem.”
It’s his home too now. Eric took another look at the windows, trying to see them through Wes’s eyes: worn material, faded color, unraveling threads... He smiled, more or less sincerely. “You know, you’re right. I guess I just never noticed. We can get new ones.”
His face lighting up again, Wes moved in, his lips pressing Eric’s, and paused a moment longer to take his hands. “Have I mentioned I’m really happy to be here?” he murmured. “Really happy we’re going to be living together?”
“First time today.” Eric closed his eyes and leaned into a deeper kiss.
“Mmmm... No more getting up and leaving after we have sex,” Wes said. “Now I can just roll over and go to sleep, like every other guy. This is going to be great.”
Eric chuckled. That part, at least, he had no reservations about, as he remembered nights of forcing himself to stay awake long enough to say a proper goodbye.
But Wes was already on the way back to the living room. When Eric followed, he was looking around, turning in a circle and making a sweeping gesture to take in the whole house. “Man! Can’t believe it - this is actually where I live now!”
His enthusiasm made Eric feel a little ashamed of his own reactions so far. Just remember - his home too. “You haven’t been away from your father’s house much, have you?”
“Just school, and the clock tower. Living in a dorm didn’t feel like this, and living with the guys was different too. Both times, I was pretty sure I’d go back someday. This is like-” Wes turned back to him, his expression a little more serious. “I dunno. It’s going out on my own for the first time. I mean, I know it’s not really on my own, but still - Dad used to take care of everything, and make all the decisions about the house, except for my room. And the servants did all the work. Now - I have to start sharing all those responsibilities with you.”
“Yeah...” Eric blinked at that thought. Shared responsibility. That was new for him, too, in the opposite way. “It’s going to be different for me, too. This is the first time in years I haven’t been the only one making all the decisions.”
Wes smiled again. “And I really want to do my share here. Pay half the bills, do half the work.” He stepped back and took another look around. “Man, I can’t wait to start fixing everything up!”
“Fixing up? What do you mean?” As the dismay started to leap up eagerly, Eric firmly told it to go back where it came from.
“Well... First of all, we could paint the place.”
“You think it needs it?”
Wes gave him an amused look. “When was the last time you painted?”
“I - I guess...” The truth was Eric had never even thought about it in the nine years he had lived there. “I don’t remember.”
“Yeah, I think it needs it. And maybe we could do something besides basic white.”
“Why? What’s wrong with white?”
Wes laughed this time. “White is boring. I thought gay guys were all supposed to be into interior decoration.”
Eric shook his head. “I guess I must not be gay then.”
“Very funny. Come on.” Wes walked into the kitchen and waited for Eric to step inside. “Look at these shelves. And the sink, and the counters, and the stove.”
“What’s wrong-” Eric cut himself off. He already knew the answer. “Don’t tell me; they’re a million years old, right?”
“Right. We could use some modern appliances, some nice-looking cabinets.” Wes turned to face Eric. “I want to have the whole thing renovated. Get someone in to redesign it. We did some of this stuff when we had the odd jobs shop, so I have a lot of ideas.” He turned away to run his hand over the cracked surface of a countertop and pull a cabinet door open.
A lot of ideas, Eric mouthed, glaring angrily at his partner’s back. Right, just walk in, take over, tell me everything I have is junk, throw everything out... His home too. Dammit. His home too his home too his home too!
“Don’t worry about the money,” Wes was saying now. “I’ll pay for it. I’ve saved up a lot living for free at home - I mean in Dad’s house, and you’ve been paying for this place all this time. It’s only fair.”
“Yeah, right, fair.” Barely in time, Eric managed to force the snarl off his face as Wes turned back, and asked in an almost normal voice, “Don’t I have anything to say about it?”
“Of course you do.” Wes was eying him with that uncertain expression again. “Sorry. If you don’t want to, no problem. But - like I said before, I really want to do my part here. Contribute something, not just move in and - well, and still feel like it’s your house and not mine too.”
His home too... For the first time, Eric realized what that really meant. That everything had gone from ‘me’ to ‘we’. From ‘I decide’ to ‘we decide’. And that he had never faced the question of whether he could live with that loss of independence, whether he could learn to share.
But the question was answered as soon as it was asked, when he looked at Wes’s face, at his half-anxious, half-determined expression. After living with his parents, in foster homes, in a dorm, in Army barracks, and on his own for the last nine years, living with Wes would be a big adjustment - but with a little work, the rewards would be even bigger.
“Sorry,” Eric said. “I guess I’m not good with change. But you’re right, the old place could use some fixing up. Let’s go for it.”
It took most of the rest of the day to get Wes unpacked, rearrange Eric’s things to make room, pack up and store unneeded items in the garage, and decide where they were going to put Wes’s television, stereo, and furniture when they came. Eric was still wondering what they were going to do with the trunks they were expecting as he shoved the last of Wes’s suitcases into the back of a closet and closed the door.
Wes was standing behind him as he turned away. “Is that it?” he asked.
“For now, anyway.”
“Good.” Wes stretched and yawned. “Well, I’m ready for a quiet evening at home. We can hang out for a while, have some dinner, watch some TV.” He grinned and stepped closer, his hands on Eric’s hips pulling them together. “And then we can try to loosen a few more springs in your mattress.”
“Our mattress, remember?” Eric said.
“Right.” Wes chuckled. “I gotta say something.”
“What?”
“I’m really glad you’re taking this so well. I know you were worried about people knowing we’re living together.”
“Not a problem.” Eric shrugged. “Doesn’t bother me at all anymore.”
Wes waved a hand to include the house. “And you’ve been on your own here for so long, it must be pretty hard to have someone else come in and - well, invade your territory like this.”
“My territory?” Eric looped his arms around him. “Nah. Never crossed my mind.”
Wes leaned in for a kiss, gentle and slow, his tongue flicking across Eric’s lips just enough to tease. They stayed like that for a few moments until, without breaking the embrace, he murmured, “You’re lying, aren’t you?”
“Like a rug.”
They spent a moment looking into each other’s eyes. Then the corner of Wes’s mouth twitched. He began to chuckle. As Eric joined in it turned into a full-out laugh, long and helpless and happy and silly and way too much for the reason behind it. But it was what they both needed, and by the time it faded into a shared grin, Eric found what remained of his tension had melted away along with the laughter.
Things were going to be just fine.